For those who have served in the military on a battlefield, the experience was not one to be immediately understood. Over time, this battlefield survival will pass through “passages” of understanding. Most combatants or warriors tend to be initially elated about the baptism of fire, but each new combat mission is approached with increasing fear. The sense of omnipotence fades quickly when one realizes that survival does not depend on courage or skill. Death chooses those on the battlefield without any reason.
In a combat unit, the members must distance themselves from apprehension about death. They become a band of brothers out of necessity to live. When returned to civilian life, the warriors begin to realize that their experience is not easily understood. Heroism and survival are a fate and not a choice. The difficulty of explaining the smells, sounds, and trauma are beyond one’s vocabulary without showing emotion.
In the end, most warriors realize they have crossed a threshold that ordinary people will never cross. Once crossed, a warrior can never return to normality. Pretending to be normal offers a state of grace and dignity with the uninitiated in polite company.
